The One Thing Holding You Back

Rapheal Cushnir is a world renowned expert in emotional connection and present moment awareness. Savor his life changing techniques and solutions as he guides us to truly free and empowered living.

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Raphael Cushnir text excerpt:

Raphael Cushnir:
I travel around the world teaching this basic process of emotional connection. I believe it’s the one crucial life skill that most of us have never learned.
Tom:
Isn’t it astounding?
Raphael Cushnir:
Yeh it really is. You know you were talking about the old way of emotions. I’ve got to get down on the floor and pound pillows, etc. One of the things I like to share with people right off to help them feel relaxed is to recognize that you don’t have to worry about or go searching for any emotion from the past, ever.
Tom:
Lovely
Raphael Cushnir:
Because any emotion that matters to you for your healing and wellbeing, will show up in the present.
Tom:
Soon probably.
Raphael Cushnir:
It might. That sounds kind of light hearted and fun but there is actually a lot to that because when people think they are missing pieces of their past and they have to go on a mining expedition.
Tom:
Totally.
Raphael Cushnir:
Then all of a sudden there is something wrong or missing with them. This approach starts out that there is nothing wrong or missing with you. There is just a skill if you learn it, will make your life a lot easier and a lot happier.
Tom:
Okay I want to start off, Raphael, with a foundation here —— of what does this cost us? Okay? There is a lot of habitual pattern, I believe, in our culture of stuckness, of resistance. I want you please to give us, to ground us, in a clarity of what are we paying, what does this cost us to not be in sync with all of this?
Raphael Cushnir:
Well when you have an emotion that arises inside of you and it only arises in one place, your physical body. If you connect to it directly and feel it in a way that you and I are going to talk about later in the show, then the message of the emotion has been delivered and received. So the emotion dissipates, moves on and leaves you cleaned and refreshed, so to speak. When you won’t feel that emotion, it stays in your body. And your resistance to it keeps it locked inside, but at the same time it keeps clamoring for your attention. It gets stronger and stronger over time. So in my experience and what I teach that whenever we are stuck in any area of our lives, it’s because of one or more key emotions related to those areas that we haven’t yet found and felt inside of ourselves.
Tom:
But it might go way back to some other stuck thing that happened in early childhood, right?
Raphael Cushnir:
Yes, but that’s the part that I was saying doesn’t quite matter in the same way we are used to thinking of it. So for instance let me give you an example. A client of mine always wanted to write a novel. He had his computer set up. He was able to create an hour every evening where he had free time. But somehow there was always a reason to walk right by the computer and not sit down and not do the typing. So he was stuck for years. He didn’t know why he wasn’t doing it. All he could say was, you know, he was a screw up. He didn’t have what it takes. So we started looking at this process together. And what we found very quickly was that he had a resistance to the experience of humiliation. The worst case scenario for him would be that he would write that novel and all the people who he loved and respected would think he was a fool. And it was that unwillingness to feel humiliation that kept him from sitting down and writing. So even though this is counter intuitive, what I did with him was I created an imaginary scenario that would elicit the experience of humiliation. I invited him to have the experience so he could learn and his brain could learn that humiliation was not a fate worse than death. It wasn’t life threatening. And at that point it became much easier to sit down and start writing.