Susan PiverThe Wisdom of a Broken Heart
The Wisdom of a Broken Heart
A practical and compassionate antidote, born of the true courage of profound sadness, and delivered with a spiritual awakening. Susan Piver tells her own true life accounts with wonderful insight and humor!
Susan Piver Text Excerpt
I came to the topic quite naturally from my own broken heart. Although it was some time ago, I remember it completely clearly, and I remember it like it was yesterday.
Everyone who has had a broken heart knows exactly what kind of broken heart I’m talking about. Because most of us have had relationships that have ended, and it’s very deeply sad and you grieve or mourn or freak out for some weeks or months. But then you move on. Every once in a while there’s a heart break that you do not move on from. And that’s the kind of heart break I’m talking about.
So it’s not a sickness to not move on from it, that’s not an illness to not move on from it?
No. It’s just what happens.
It shatters you. You cannot, everything about your life, nothing about your life makes sense anymore. And you feel completely like this was the only thing that can make me happy, and now it’s gone. I can’t really concentrate on anything else.
So it doesn’t feel like any wisdom it just feels like something you want to get away from. Quite understandably.
Or avoid at all costs!
Exactly! And all the break-up books, by the way, out there, which are aimed at women mostly, sort of fall into two categories. I’ll go back to my heart break story in a second.
First category is what I call “You go girl!” The kind of book that’s like “move on, you’re too awesome for that person. You need to get some cocktails, some haircuts, some fun and forget about it.” You know I don’t think that’s terrible advice, personally. I don’t have any problem with that advice. It’s not that helpful, but it’s not bad advice.
It’s comfort advice, huh?
Yeah, it’s like “be alive” is sort of the underlying theme of that advice. That’s good.
The other kind of advice I do not like at all. That’s the school of thought that says “there’s something wrong with you. You made this happen by bringing forward into your current life an unhealed wound from the past.”
Oh yes, I’ve heard this!
And/or, you thought the wrong thoughts. And if only you thought the right thoughts, you would “attract the right situation.” And that makes me crazy.
I hate that advice! I think for several reasons. One, it’s very claustrophobic. To think that you’re going to have to monitor every thought and do a value judgment on each one. Very, very painful. It also assumes that sorrow is not supposed to be a part of life.
And if it is, someone has screwed up, heads are gonna roll. That’s just not true. And then also, that it assumes, and this might sound kind of weird, that you know what is best for you. I have found that that actually s not true. You know, things I think are going to be good for me turn out to be not so good. Things I think are going to be horrible, turn out to be pretty good.
Well I’ve found that too!
Yes! That’s good. I think it’s a very common human experience.
So there is something much larger at work than our own conventional mind. And when you bank on your conventional mind to guide you through your life, your living a tiny existence. So please, open……